By JOSH FREED
Dear Dr. Josh, The PQ is in a tizzy again - bickering, backstabbing and belittling their party leader. This seems to happen often - what's their problem? Isn't it time to put the PQ on the couch?
- Puzzled
Dear Puzzled:
The problem is simple. The PQ is suffering from separation anxiety.
They are a party born and dedicated to separating from Canada, but despite their best efforts they're still in it 40 years later and can't accept that their dream may never happen.
So they sublimate their desire instead. Since they can't separate from Canada they get anxious - and separate from their leaders instead.
First they separated from René Lévesque when he took his beau risque with Canada. Then they separated from Pierre Marc Johnson and André Boisclair by firing them. Then leaders Jacques Parizeau, Lucien Bouchard and Bernard Landry quit and separated from the PQ - before the PQ could separate from them. Now with four big-name MNAs leaving, the PQ may finally be separating from itself.

Thanks doctor - but I'm still confused. Who are the true separatists now?

A difficult question. Louise Beaudoin and the rest of the Gang of Four have left the party and created a separate superseparatist block (not to be confused with the old Bloc). That leaves three sitting separatist parties: the PQ separatists, the new super-separatists and the socialist, schizophrenic, separatist party of Amir Khadir. Not to mention former PQ cabinet minister François Legault, who separated from the PQ years ago and is forming his own party.
If separation anxiety grows we could wind up with five, six, maybe even a dozen separatist parties by next election. And that leaves Premier Jean Charest with less anxiety.

Okay, Dr., I get it - but why revolt against Pauline Marois? I know she pushed too hard for a silly new Quebec arena, but she got 93 per cent support at the PQ congress. Marois seems like Ms. Sovereignty 2011 - yet the MNAs who quit say she's not sovereignist enough! Am I dreaming?

No. To many anglos, Marois incarnates separatism. The word "sovereignty" seems to leave her mouth every second sentence - when she isn't talking about francisizing English signs, English CEGEPS and English tea.
So it's mind-bending to hear hardliners say she doesn't talk enough about sovereignty. I guess they'd like her to start and end each sentence with the S-word.
"Sovereign greetings, my fellow sovereignists! Today we gather to discuss sovereignty in used cars sales, sovereignty in space travel and sovereignty in Champlain Bridge work and dental bridge work. Yay sovereignty!"

This sounds obsessive. What are the deeper motivations beneath all this, Dr.? Is the PQ actually separating from its mother?

In a way the departing PQ MNAs are separating from Mother Marois. But don't forget Dad - "Poppa" Parizeau - who fled the PQ home years ago. So those quitting the PQ now are actually leaving Mom to move in with Dad, as often happens to children in divided families. And this only increases separation anxiety.

Poor kids. Who pushed them to leave anyway?

Dad. The defections were reportedly engineered by "Poppa" Parizeau who wanted his wife - MNA Lisette Lapointe - to replace Marois. But instead Parizeau's plan just caused chaos in the party. This comes only months after Parizeau helped destroy Gilles Duceppe by appearing on stage with him at a big rally and making him look passé. Parizeau has wounded his PQ family before, too.
In fact, whenever the PQ gets far ahead in the polls by NOT talking sovereignty he demands they scream "sovereignty!" louder, until they fall behind again - or the latest PQ leader leaves.
By Jove - it may be time for anglos to face the fact that Parizeau is a federalist's best friend.

Isn't this all self-defeating - and dysfunctional?

Electorally, yes. This week an astonishing new poll shows 82 per cent of Quebecers think the PQ should put sovereignty in the back shed with the old furnace and just promise good government. Even 68 per cent of sovereignists are sick of talking about sovereignty - which shows how severe separation trauma has become.
It all comes back to that old question - what does Quebec want? - and nowadays even Quebec doesn't know. After 20 years with the Bloc, Quebecers lunged emotionally to the NDP federally, surprising even themselves.
Now 55% of Quebecers say they want a new provincial party too - which means Legault is the most popular leader in Quebec even without a party. It's all very unpredictable and exciting. Legault is running around Quebec searching for 125 candidates NDP-style - and frankly, I'm hoping my teenage son will be one. He missed out running for the NDP but by the next Quebec election he should just be turning 18 - and being an MNA is a good first job.
It sure pays better than his allowance.
Josh_freed iqj hotmail.com